Does your language reflect your mindset or the other way around?
What’s first: the hen or the egg? That’s the question here.
If your language reflects your mindset, what’s the reason you choose this language?
Again, neuroscience to the rescue!
Like I said in this blog post, your brain was imprinted way before your birth, via your genetic code. These imprints will determine how you think, feel, act, and react.
For example: Since humans are highly dependent on others, especially as babies, they better be “nice” to those who take care of them.
One surefire way to make someone like you is to mimic them or be like them. Most people like themselves, after all.A baby will therefore notice that mommy is happy when baby smiles back.Smiling is a way of greeting even with adults. It shows that you’re friendly, not an enemy of sorts.
Check it out: how do you feel when you look at the image below?
Now ask yourself: what words did you choose to describe your feelings? Happy? Friendly? Warm? Light? Honestly, for your sake, I hope the woman’s smile didn’t evoke something dark
If that image was able to influence you to express yourself in a positive way, could it work the other way around too?In other words: if you say something positive, happy, joyful, etc. will it make you feel that way?
Try it out! Give your imagination free reign. “Oooh, I feel good today. Not only good, I feel amazing!”What if you were to say something like that as a way of greeting when replying to the usual “how are you?” See what the other person would do.
More than likely, they reciprocate. They want to be like you because you’re obviously happy! Which in turn will make you feel good!
Language is incredibly powerful. Not only in conversations with others, but also when talking to yourself. You are constantly “talking” to yourself, BTW! Running thoughts through your mind is a conversation, after all.
If your language is peppered with “I think…”, “I just…”, “I’m sorry, but…” you are diminishing your power!
“I think I can help you…” Do you feel that sounds confident? Obviously not. You wouldn’t want to hear that from your doctor, right?
“I just wanted to say…” Don’t! You tell yourself and others that your opinion is not relevant.
If you recognize yourself in those examples, no worries. It’s the way you were imprinted. At one time or another your brain decided that was the safe way to survive.
The good news? YOU have the power to change it!
Firstly, you need to watch how you express yourself. Are you routinely using phrases that could be weak, insecure, or powerless?
Next, correct yourself. You may do this in your imagination or in real life. Gosh, I’m really guilty of rehashing conversations in my mind! Many times I’m second guessing myself: “I could have said that better” or “Why didn’t I do this instead?” Although it’s too late, my brain is memorizing improved versions.If you catch yourself early, double up in the conversation. “I think I could do…Well, I actually think that’s the right thing to do!”
Over time, your brain will learn that you get better outcomes when you stand in your power and authenticity.
You will naturally repel some people. That can feel horribly scary. But, like we said before, most fears are not real. What’s the worst that can happen? Some shmuck doesn’t like you? What do you care!
If you care, like I do because I’m a sucker (my kids’ words) or a people pleaser (some online personality test I took), it’s a bit harder to overcome, guess what, this limiting belief!
Fact is we can’t make everyone happy. We can’t even please everyone. Being happy or content is their job! You can bend over backwards; if they don’t have it in them to be in a good mood, they won’t be.
And, just sayin’…it’s a thousand times easier to overcome such limiting beliefs with someone to help you.
Why? you may ask.
Well, I’m glad you asked! The unfortunate issue: your limiting beliefs sit deeply embedded in your subconscious mind.
How can you find the way to something you don’t know of without help? Same problem as with finding a place in a foreign city without a guide. So you get one!
Do you want to see how that works? Check out the video below ▼
It’s the recording of an impromptu demo when I was doing a Facebook live broadcast interview for Regina Bergman. (Intro to demo begins at the first white dot mark; 24:42 minutes in; the actual demo starts at the second dot, 38:20 minutes in, plus there are speed controls)
Let me know what was most intriguing for you in the video or this article!
…and don’t forget to share this post!